I think it is quite normal not to bond deeply emotionally with your mother even if she is your biological mother. And of course you will grief due to the lack of bonding, because you love your mother and want to bond with her.
I somethimes feel the same about many of my nearest (and biological) family members and it’s not because we don’t like each other or don’t se each other. I think maybe that the part of our personalities that are very similar to each other, just turns out in a negative way when we are together, because they get reinforsed. In that case it is much better for me and my family when we are togetger with someone with a different personality from our own.
Sending you a big hug! ❤️