Apple needs to know absolutely everything about the devices you own for security, antitheft, insurance, repair, and yes, marketing purposes, but not necessarily the data on the devices. In that, I do consider them better than Google after some extensive study. Especially after the recent full-phone encrypted backup news.
The dealer’s line is just a smooth marketing line that works well with the masses. Lexus just likes to hoard “their” data. You can be sure that vehicles with OnStar share just as data much and more. Valuable data about shopping habits that Lexus probably wants to ensure its own access to.