I’ve been dating a guy for a month. We have known each other a bit longer than that but it’s fairly new. I’m concerned about a relationship he has with another woman and want to get some perspective if this is a red flag or just my personal trust issues.
He has an online friend he texts and games with and originally told me he’s not close to this person and doesn’t really know her. Said he has only played about two games with her and called her on the phone once but texts.
The two times he had games with her, he ditched his plans with me to go be with her, and even ditched time we had planned to me intimate. I joined their call to watch him game and try to get to know this girl hoping we could all be friends and I could feel a bit more comfortable bc I found it weird he ditched our intimate time to play with someone he said he’s only played with twice or so.
In the call he basically ignored me and spent the whole time hyping her up, joking together and it just seemed to me more than platonic. When she did bad he was super kind and reassuring and took time to watch his tone when giving her advice in game. When I play a game with him online, he is really huffy and gruff with me and gets pissed if we do bad and says how I should do better with a negative tone. Completely opposite to how he was with this girl.
I tried to talk to him after about it explaining why I was uncomfortable and things weren’t aligning for me over the details he gave. Like why is this person such a priority if he doesn’t really know her. He said that more recently he has been Pershing more of a friendship with her but he knew her before me and they were just friends so I shouldn’t be worried. He got mad that I’m even having concerns about this and that he’s not going to stop deepening their friendship despite me saying I’m uncomfortable because the details don’t add up and if she truly is someone he doesn’t know that well or has just met, why is this even an issue. I said he didn’t have to ghost her or anything, just maybe wind this down instead of trying to peruse a deeper private friendship where he is treating her nicer than he treats me and prioritizing her over our plans together.
To top it off he pretends to be single with her saying he is a private person and doesn’t feel comfortable sharing that. And then got really upset I don’t trust him because he’s just a nice person to his female friends.
Am I crazy here? What would you do in this situation? Do you think this is normal or a huge red flag? Thanks