Good girl syndrome is a good read if you’ve got the time. You’re so wrapped up in pleasing others, you’ll mould yourself to fit others and will ignore your own boundaries when doing so. People eventually learn that if you can disrespect yourself then they’ll disrespect you. They’ll exploit you but you’ll smile through it because you’re too scared of making waves to stop them. You also feel like a ghost of a person because you don’t know who you are or what you stand for.
It’s gotten me in awful places. Been bullied but “too nice” to stand up for myself, let others be rewarded for my hard work, not stood up against a boss who used me as a scapegoat for her poor management, had my friends use me, family disregard my things, been SA’d and SH’d and not called it out, had existential crises over who I even am. I’ve eventually learnt that if you don’t unlearn this behaviour, then you’ll continue to suffer. I’m still unlearning and it’s terrifying every time I stand up for myself but I’m so proud every time I do.
But I can’t ignore the good. I look back and I’m kinda proud for not perpetuating a cycle of bullying and hate, and now know that it was a them problem, not me. I’m still kind hearted and I think my job requires that (nursery nurse and student paeds nurse). I want to teach the next gen that you can be kind and have boundaries.
I feel a lil bitter that women especially are conditioned to be this way; exploitable. It’s time we teach girls that they can be loud, bossy, assertive.
So yeah perhaps we are a lil jaded but it’s been a tiresome journey to say the least.