I have male friends who , if I try to talk about other male friends with them for obvious reasons , they will back them up SO strongly that we cannot even address their behaviour . When I talk to female friends about friends they will discuss their own opinions and feelings and also my issue or complications regarding them .. this isn’t bitching … it is necessary. I feel like so many men must not know who their friends really are because they’re trying so hard to be unproblematic or keep bro code .
I also feel very much shut out like I’m not part of the boys club and they don’t respect me enough to discuss a friend with because I’m not on the special list ?
I also find women who are friends with lots of men will do this when you discuss someone’s behaviour , even when it boarders on sexual abuse or something morally messy , their go to is “ well I’m not discussing that without them here to defend themselves “
How the fuck am I supposed to confide in you about someone you are close to and their bad behaviour then ? Do you just want to keep bad friends ?