I’ve been continually growing more and more disappointed with men and I’m starting to think it’s not worth it to “hold out” for one anymore.
Some posts that I’ve been seeing lately have been very discouraging. If they’re all just going to be the same anyway, what’s the point in continuing to search for a needle in a haystack, when that needle probably never even existed?
I have been alone for all my life. It’s something that I’m used to, but it’s been very, very lonely a lot of times. I admit there’s been several instances where I just wanted to know for once what it felt like to feel safe and loved, and to be able to rely on someone, but if all men are unsafe and unreliable, then I guess this is something that was just never possible. I am lonely, but I’m not desperate or stupid. I know full well it’s not worth letting a man into my life who’s just going to make it a living hell in the end.
I have career goals I am working towards, and I am currently putting myself through school to reach them. As silly as it sounds, one of my biggest goals is to be self-sufficient with a career I can be happy in. I am determined and excited to work in a field I am sure I will enjoy, as it’s a big shift in direction for me, but at the same time I can’t help but still feel a little bit sad – I guess more so a lot sad – that I will never truly be rid of this loneliness that I’ve felt for my whole life. I guess I could learn to just be able to live with it. Maybe once I’m doing something with my life that’s worthwhile, maybe there will be days where it won’t feel as sad or painful
Anyway rant over, sorry. What do you guys plan to do?