It has its ups and its downs. I’ve never been sexually harassed, stalked, scared for my life, been hit on, never had creepy comments made about me or been catcalled, never been sexualized as an adult or a teen, never been physically abused.
However, I’ve also never been told I’m beautiful, never had anyone actually date me because they love me (only meaningless middle school dating for fun), never been asked for my number, been asked on a date, no one’s ever stopped and stared at me with anything except disgust. I have been asked out as a joke and dating me was the punchline in middle school (like when everyone uses dating me as a punishment), I always feel uncomfortable everywhere and I never feel like I belong anywhere. Everyone stops talking and laughing when I try to join, no one invites me to anything that all the other girls have been invited to, no one really gives a shit about me.
Any pictures I post have basically 0 engagement while pretty girls get thousands of likes. I put hours into self care and still can’t look at myself in the mirror, I’ve lost weight and gained it and I can’t look at myself nude.
Everyone online says that everyone’s beautiful in their own way, and yet when I ask people irl to give me compliments it’s always my personality and never my looks, no one’s ever told me I’m pretty and meant it. I have to fish for compliments to get any, and pretty girls get handed compliments like candy.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad pretty girls get such good treatment but I’m just lonely and I wish for once that could be me