I would like some advice please

i-would-like-some-advice-please

Hello everyone! I just kinda need to vent and talk my feelings through. I’m gonna try to keep it kinda vague I hope that’s okay. I’m sorry if it doesn’t make sense, I tried but I have adhd so let me know if I need to clarify anything.

My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 and a half years. He competes in a sport and has wanted to train in another country on the other side of the world since way before I met him. He’s always said he wants to go for a month or two but last week he told me he wants to go for 6 months, probably longer.

I support this and told him that he needs to go for at least 6 months to get as much out of it as he can. He said that we will just do long distance while he’s gone. I might be willing to try long distance but knowing myself, I don’t know if that will work for me. We live 45 minutes away from each other and that’s far enough for me.

One thing that upsets me about this whole thing is that he doesn’t seem to care about how any of this is affecting me. When he talks about going, it’s like he doesn’t consider how what he’s saying makes me feel, he just jokes about it. He hasn’t once asked me how I feel about him being on the other side of the world for 6 month. He’s also casually mentioned moving there and said we’d just have to break up and then made a joke. And I just feel like he’s fully planning a life without me but I don’t want to sit around and wait to find out if I’m going to be apart of it if he decides to come back. I can try long distance and if it does end up working for me and I decide to stay with him and do long distance, I don’t want him to decide 4 months in that he’s going to stay when, at that point, I think I only have 2 months left without him. That will crush me and I don’t want to put myself through that. I just love him so much and this situation sucks and I really don’t know what to do.