My boyfriend and I decided to break up last night. We spent the day together cuddling and talking about how much we love each other and our best memories with each other and it was honestly the most amazing way to spend the day with him. When it was time for him to leave and go home I think I was in shock or something and it didn’t fully hit me until just now.
I was on Instagram and I saw a video that reminded me of him and I really wanted to send it to him (I always sent him a million memes a day he would give me so much shit about how long it takes him to look at all of them lol) and I realized that I can’t. Because we broke up and he’s not my boyfriend anymore.
And now it’s all hitting me at once that I won’t get to text him goodnight or good morning and I don’t get to hear about how he slept the night before. I don’t get to call him randomly just to say hi and I love you. We both mutually decided that we have a lot of shit going on in our personal lives and we haven’t been doing a good job of working through it together and need some time apart but I don’t want to be apart from him. I want to be with him and figure our stuff out together, maybe try couples therapy or something I don’t know but I don’t want to let him go. All I want to do right now is call him and tell him that but I don’t know if I should. It hurts so bad to think about. He’s my first boyfriend so this is my first break up and I knew that it was called a broken heart for a reason but I really didn’t think it would hurt this bad. I just really don’t know what to do.
I’m sorry if this doesn’t make sense I’m upset and just typed this up super fast.