My boyfriend and I had a rough start to our relationship. We met abroad. It was messy. I then moved far away for him and we moved in together right away, and it was very difficult. I had a lot of trust issues because of the way he treated me when we first started seeing each other. He also admitted to shitty things he did when we first started seeing each other, only a few months after I moved in with him. So needless to say my trust issues grew. I would question him often and look through his social media. He would get very upset with me and felt anxious around me. He ended up breaking up with me and then coming back to me and apologizing a few months later. I gave him another chance. Jesus the more I type this out I’m like what the hell was I thinking lol. And why did I act that way 🙁
Now we are in a great spot relationship wise. I trust him completely. We communicate much better. I can’t even remember the last time we had an argument… but we once again moved far away. This was a decision we both made together months ago. and my boyfriend hates his job here. He’s having a really difficult time and we can’t necessarily quit and move back home because we would pay an insane amount of money to break out contracts plus shipping out things home.
Last night he said he had been reflecting on the past few years and was realizing how hard our relationship has been. I agreed. But he put a lot of blame on me. He told me he never wanted to move here he just felt pressure to say yes because of me ?? (Again, we made this decision a long time ago and thought it out) and said I only wanted to come here for the money. Which is partially true because my ultimate goal is to buy a house, but I also wanted a new experience before settling down. And now with us being stuck in this contract in a place where he’s unhappy is just making me feel incredibly guilty and sad. I wonder if he’d just be better off without me and I wonder if I’m just the cause of all of his unhappiness. We’ve always lived in more isolated areas together for work, never “normal” areas aka just being back home where we are from. He obviously is done with moving around, which I am too. We agreed we’d definitely move home next year. I just can’t get rid of the guilt of how I acted for so long in the beginning of our relationship and now feeling like I dragged him to this new area where he is miserable 🙁
I just needed to rant and am looking for some positive advice