I was never the type to be overly jealous and constantly driving myself crazy that my man is looking at other women. But I found out he watched thirst traps and looked at porn pictures for the first three months we were together and I can’t stop feeling insecure, two months later.
The first three months were long distance, we had only met once before that and we weren’t dating then. We started dating online. So I’m trying to pin it on that, that we hadn’t known each other that well and we were barely that serious. But I can’t help but wonder if he would’ve stopped had I not found out. I keep wondering if he really stopped, I keep getting images of him looking at them when we’re not talking and I feel horrible. I don’t wanna get so hung up on this, but how can I ever feel secure again? We’re back long distance now, after spending just over a week together in person.
Before anyone tries to tell me it’s ok to look: it’s ok for you, not for me. Please don’t try to force your views on me. I don’t want anyone to try and change my “okayness” with porn and thirst traps.