I saw a tiktok video about men leaving the toilet seat up as a power dynamic. Basically, they refuse to do it because it’s one of their little ways of asserting power even if it’s subtle.
I left a comment on the video, but because of the limited character max on tiktok posts, I couldn’t get too much into it or would end up spamming the whole thing. So i wanted to elaborate further here.
So men do this for several reasons. One, they’re mostly lazy and thoughtless creatures, but also, because there’s no incentive for them to do this. Especially if they live with women. Be it a wife, girlfriend, sister, or roommate. It doesn’t have to be a romantic relationship. Just have to share space with a woman.
They know that sooner or later, that woman will go in and use the bathroom. No matter which call we answer, we sit to do it. They know the toilet seat will be lowered for them by this woman. So they don’t bother as the other person will eventually do it for them.
It’s pointless to argue about their lack of courtesy. In their minds, it’s not a struggle at all to lower the seat. And falling in is simply your own fault for not paying attention.
So i came up with a solution. Separate bathrooms for you and the man you live with. You have yours and he will have his. You are also responsible for your own bathroom, as in you clean yours. He will clean his.
Your bathroom will always have the lid down because your business is always done sitting. The only time it would be lifted is when you clean it. This will not be true for him. He will lift the seat to pee, but need to lower it to take a dump. This will pretty much force him to be mindful of that seat and could sooner or later fall in one wednesday night after Taco Tuesday.
If separate bathrooms aren’t possible, then perhaps you should stop making things easy for him. When you use the bathroom, lift the lid back up. I know it’s a bit more work, but he’s not putting it down, because he counts on you to do it for him. It will have to be a habit you’ll need to get yourself into, but maybe it will be enough to motivate him eventually to start being more mindful of his actions as time goes on.
It’s rather sad that in order for a man to get why courtesy is a good and necessary thing, is when he is the one who becomes inconvenienced by his own thoughtless actions.