Ive been having a time recently recognizing that i have an eating disorder and how my mother contributed to that. She never really made any negative comments on my figure but definitely passed a lot of guilt to me about the financial cost of the food i ate. So i never really worried about how i looked, i assumed i got “good genes” from her and didnt question it when my family praised how i looked.
But now ill take of some slightly baggier clothes and realize how i barely fill them and it makes me realize im sick, at least a bit.
I want to start eating more to gain weight and it will still be tough to conscience financially but i didnt know if it would help to count calories if i give myself a higher number to aim for than maybe more unhealthy sources would give for trying to lose weight. That way i can focus on buying cheaper but more calorie dense foods.
I just know that calorie counting has a lot of unhealthy applications and i didnt grow up in a family that really talked about that side of food so i dont know if im going to do more harm by doing that and if theres a better way to handle it. Ty! 💜