This is half vent, half looking for advice. It’s wintertime where I live meaning swimsuits are on sale- great for my wallet, a little rough on my psyche lol. I follow lots of body positivity-type accounts and make sure I look up “normal body in a bikini” every time I start swimsuit shopping to try to remind myself it’s NORMAL to not be a supermodel and unhealthy to have an eating disorder. It has helped some, but I can’t help but look at all these different women and genuinely believe every single one of them is pretty, then turn and rip myself apart in the mirror. These women are both fatter and skinnier than me with all different body shapes. Some are tanner (few are paler) and others have some kind of limb difference or visible disability. Almost every other woman I see anywhere has something that I can point out that is genuinely so pretty about her in my eyes, even when they aren’t “traditionally beautiful”.
However, for some reason, I can’t ever measure up to these women in my head despite knowing I’m literally just another normal person and other people probably aren’t looking at me as harshly as I am looking at me. Has anyone else experienced this? Is there any advice to be offered on how to work with myself on this? I am in therapy and I have a supportive and awesome bf (who has done great things for my self image) and I also have just made some major changes in my life to alleviate some bad dysmorphia so I believe I’m on the right track. Just some improvement could be made :’)
I don’t need to walk around thinking I’m the shit, I just would like to know how to be as kind to myself as I am to the ladies in line ahead of me in stores or that I pass on the street.