I lived my life giving into anything that was fun or exciting under the guise of “I could die tomorrow! I have to live today to the fullest!” Ended up sleeping on peoples couches, in an abusive relationship, and briefly living with my parents as a result. Wasn’t worth it.
When I emerged from that and tried connecting with people I knew from before, I found myself getting annoyed or bored that they just wanted to drink or smoke and watch TV or go to raves. They would then all ask for money over instagram because they couldn’t pay their rent but would blame it on “society.”
I found a purpose and have been working really hard on achieving my life goals, because I don’t want to be the person I used to be or these “friends” I used to have who justify their laziness and lack of ambition as a fight for “freedom” while being completely dependent on their friends giving them money. What really made it click, though, was being in an abusive relationship where I wasn’t allowed to follow any dreams and then coming back down to Earth and realizing I suddenly had the freedom to do what I really wanted to. I also just want to buy my land and escape from all the bullshit (my idea of “real” freedom) so I’m working really hard to get there ASAP. It helps that I’m not trying to force myself into the norm of “achieve this then this to have ‘freedom’” and the motivation of going against the system helps drive me