When did you realize that you had become everything you swore you would never be? Did you ever find a way back to being yourself?

About half a year ago. I was always creative and outdoorsy and imagined myself as somewhat of an artist in any direction whatsoever. I always wanted to feel like myself and tried multiple jobs/ relocations to achieve that. Now I’m stuck in a data based job and got a therapist to maybe get to the bottom of why I am so fat off of my goals.