what was the reason for women pumping me up with hot air when it came to dating? It was always “you’re such a great/nice guy and I don’t know why women won’t date you”. what was likely going on?

Some combination of:

1. It’s true and you’ve just been getting in your own way.

2. They were being nice because they’re nice people.

3. They wanted to do as much as they could to prevent an incel spree killing.