Not so much the hard way as in some big dramatic incident…just decades of life experience.
You can almost never really get people to change in any meaningful way, and especially not using words. Folks are who they are, and you kinda gotta take them as they are, or not.
The other lesson is that it’s ok to pick the “or not” option. The sun doesn’t explode if you decide you’re not gonna visit with Aunt Mildred any more.