What is the perfect thing to say when someone is being rude to you?

Nothing. I mean literally nothing.

No, this is not some kind of mental health thing, this is not your therapist telling you to let these things go. No, this is me, a fucked up individual telling you that the best way to fuck with a crap person is to ignore them, not because it’s better for you, but because it’s worse for them. Nothing infuriates them more than being ignored.