I want a baby so bad but deep down I know I’m not ready

i-want-a-baby-so-bad-but-deep-down-i-know-i’m-not-ready

God this is driving me insane. I’ve been in a perfect relationship with my boyfriend for over a year now, and in the past few months i’ve been getting urges to add to the family. I want a baby so bad. I want to find out i’m pregnant, then tell him and see him just as happy as i am. i want him to hold back my hair during the morning sickness. i want him to cuddle me and rub my belly as it grows. i want him to hold my hand when i’m so big i can only waddle. i want him to hold our new baby and love it just as much as we love each other. i want to watch our child grow up together. i never wanted any of that before, but i want it all with him.

the thing is, realistically we’re too young. we haven’t even finished uni, or done the travelling we want to do, and we’ve only been dating a year, which maybe isn’t long enough to go out with someone before bringing a baby into the world.

i haven’t told him any of this. i don’t know how he’d react to be honest. we’ve discussed having children, and we both want to at some point, but i know right now isn’t the time for us. i just can’t wait. when i was younger i always used to say that i’d never have children, but i understand the need now, and to be honest it’s torture. and of course the feminist in me wants to stay true to my younger self, to prove that a woman’s only purpose is not just to fall in love and have children, but for some reason it’s all i can think about. am i going completely insane or have other people felt this