honestly acceptance, acknowledgement on what happened and the fact that it wasn’t my fault. therapy is expensive, so I slowly eased out of depression and well became neutral I guess? I don’t really know how to describe it but it came to a point where I was like “I’d like a change, to feel differently than down in the dumps, I don’t want to live my life forever depressed, I don’t want to live with pushing others away, I don’t want to live my life… tearing myself up. I want something more… something new.”
and so I guess I had just slowly worked my way up to recovering? I can’t really explain it.