Do you think it is normal for an inmate to develop a crush on their warden and fantasize about him executing you? Why/why not?

I was in prison for drugs (got caught up in some shit and mixing with the wrong crowd, basically peer pressure and impulsive actions) and I didn’t hate it.

I disliked being in a cell most of the time and some of the inmates acted like they were in high school. But holy shit the warden was cute af, not conventionally attractive but he looked really geeky and he had these huge blue eyes and he was adorable. Everytime he was around I would feel my face turning beet red. I think I had a crush on him and I sorta liked the idea that this guy of all people was keeping me locked up and I felt sorta protective over him like I didn’t want him to become ill or anything. I saw he had a wedding ring so I didn’t wanna say anything but while I disliked prison I didn’t hate it, because holy shit that guy was cute

So, I’m also kinda embarassed to admit this, but..I had a dream in prison where for some reason I was sentenced to death by electrocution because of drugs, as opposed to my actual sentence. And it was him who was strapping me to the electric chair and electrocuting me. But I didn’t struggle I actually intentionally stayed really calm and cooperative so I didn’t make his job harder. I felt, uh, excited? By this dream/idea.

Everytime someone mentions prison I still think of him and feelcomforted. Don’t know his exact age but he looked like he was in his fourties