do you feel oppressed constantly ?


I am a white trans lady with mental health issues, so it is hard to separate the “feel” from the “am” concerning being oppressed constantly, especially when I can (and have) hid in my “man disguise” for a lot of my life. The apparatus of oppression is all around us, but it hits the people who can’t escape it worst and that will never be my experience in the way it is for people of color.

The more I transition and remove my “man disguise” the more visible I become (as a white trans lady), which feels oppressive and scary, but I also recognize that women of color (especially if they are visibly queer) have a much harder time than I do, still that knowledge isn’t enough to remove this fear of needing to struggle against oppressive structures just to be myself.

Perhaps due to my c/ptsd, I am cursed with a selfless and sweet personality that frequently causes women to end up in abusive and exploitive situations. This seemed to be the case even when I was hiding in my “man disguise”, I couldn’t hide my spirit and abusers latched onto it (pretty much all men). The world seems to want to oppress feminine energy, as a child the adults in my life would literally try to beat it out of me, usually through proxy (encouraging boys to beat me up).

This violent oppression of my feminine energy throughout my childhood shaped my experiences in life. They didn’t win, but they did succeed in breaking my spirit, for a time. They couldn’t take away my sweet and soft personality, but they were able to make it so I was unable to love myself. This was dangerous and lead me to a very scary abusive relationship I barely survived. It wasn’t until I started to truly love and accept myself, that I started to develop the courage to live despite this fear of oppression.

So to answer your question, yes, I feel oppressed constantly, but I am done letting it rule my life and am done letting it be a reason to hide and not be myself. Also I recognize that many folks have it a lot harder than I do, and I wouldn’t speak on their behalf. Hopefully this helps answer your question and have a lovely day.