I’m the self deprecating partner. I make all kinds of those jokes. And the first time I drank around my now husband, he was excited because he had heard so much about what a fun drunk I am. He ended up getting really sad and disappointed. He couldn’t believe that someone he loved and thought perfect for him didn’t think the same way. He was upset that I kept saying he could do better no matter how many times he reassured me he didn’t want better. I think reassuring someone all the time can indeed be very exhausting.